Casper's Cycling and WLS Journeys : So Very SAD? Where is Spring? Cycling Season is Upon Us?

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Published 18-02-2007 02:43 by Casper

So Very SAD? Where is Spring? Cycling Season is Upon Us?

I know I have been really bad about updating. I have not had much to say lately. Maybe I should say I don't know what to say lately. I seem to be in a SAD state these days. Maybe it really is SAD... Seasonal Affective Disorder. Maybe I am suffering some depression because of the rapid weight loss and issues with my new body image? Maybe I am missing my friend, food? Whatever it is it really has me down in the pits lately and I can't seem to kick it. I feel anxious, sad, bored, unfocused, and have a lack of interest in doing the things I normally really love to do. Sometimes I think it would be best to lay in bed all day and sleep, except I just can't sleep that much. The world just feels off center to me and I can't seem to put my finger on it.

One thing I know for sure is I sure do miss Summer. Where is Spring? I saw some Robins yesterday, which was a very promising sign that Spring is just around the corner, I hope. They are forecasting highs in the mid 30's for all next week. I really want to get out on my bike bike and put in some serious road miles, maybe this next week will offer that opportunity.

One sure sign of spring is the Tour of California. Oh Yeah! It starts today. We will be spending some time watching that. Maybe the tour will help snap me out of this funk that I am in.

On the weight loss front I am down to 137 lbs. I now wear a size two. Who would have ever thunk, me in a size two! Though, I seem to be having a bad case of "buyers Remorse" right now. All related back to this funk I am in I am sure. Sometimes I question my choice to have WLS and ask myself, was this all worth it? Sure I am in a size two, look pretty good, and all the health issue I had are gone, but did I trade in one bag of health issue for a bag of emotional issues? sigh....I really feel alone right now. Not that I am alone, but I feel like I have lost me and I am not sure where to find me. Who is this person looking back at me in the mirror? I don't know that I like what I see.

Well like I said, not much to say these days. I'm just feeling blah...

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emil said:

be patient, been there! It takes a while to find "you" again. A warm sunny day and a long ride will help, it did for me

February 18, 2007 7:44 PM

Casper said:

Oh Emil, thank you! Sometimes I think I will never feel like "me" again. We are going to try and get out for a 20 mile ride tomorrow. Looks like the temps will be above freezing! Keeping the fingers crossed.

February 18, 2007 9:00 PM

emil said:

Got em crossed, came home today and stopped for gas and "felt" spring"!

It took me almost a year to find "me" again. The new me is a bit different then the old! It like a new clothes it take a while to adjust, of course thats way to simple I still have moments, old pictures and mirrors will stop me in my tracks still. I'm less patient then I was and maybe a bit more demanding. Its been a long slow adjustment for me and those around me.

Take care, the weather looks good for this week. In the mean time I'm off to the trainer :( I hoping to get out and play with my new Edge 305........ soon...

February 19, 2007 4:43 PM

Cleo~ said:

Hun I can so relate to you. :( I hope you feel better soon. I know you will!! You're always bubbly and smiley. You've been my rock a zillion times. If you need to talk feel free to call me anytime. If you don't have my work # email me and I'll send it to ya.

I love ya hun. Take care of yourself.

PS - it was in the 70's here today. wanna come visit? LOL :)

February 21, 2007 6:45 PM

emil said:

60 degrees and the sun shining this weekend..... Time to leave the SAD behind!!!!

March 21, 2007 7:57 PM